This blog post almost didn’t happen.

I sat down yesterday and tried to write a post about all the unhappy feelings I’ve been having the past week about my weight. I started writing about the first time I packed on 20 pounds without realizing it (until, predictably, none of my dress clothes fit). Then I thought, “Okay, nobody wants to hear the tall girl complain that she’s put on a few pounds.” So I stopped.

But the past week, there have been three occasions where I wanted to look nice and I pulled one thing after another out of the closet, and the items I really wanted to wear just didn’t fit. Oh, I could get into them (although, in one case, sitting down was probably not an option) — but they didn’t fit right and they sure didn’t look good. The first time this happened, nine years ago, I said I wasn’t going to let it happen again. But I did.

The worst part, though, is that I haven’t bounced back from it. Nine years ago, as soon as I recognized the problem, I jumped all over it and I lost the weight. This time, I made more excuses than efforts.

Admittedly, they haven’t all been bad excuses. Mostly it’s been an issue of timing. I keep thinking, “I’ll work on my diet after…” And so it’s been a progression of procrastination: I’ll do it after this deadline, after this project, after the busy season, after the move, after the holidays. But this week it finally hit me that I’ve now spent years putting this off. And it’s time to stop.

There’s always going to be another project, another deadline, another holiday, another reason I need a candy bar or a cookie or whatever. If I keep putting everything else before taking care of myself, I’ll never lose the weight.

So — holidays or not, stress or not, the bonbons stop here. I may not be able to overhaul my entire diet right now, but I can make a start.

[ Scale photo courtesy of vendor site. Also, that’s not my real weight. ]


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