I do not like this change of time.
I do not think it worth one dime!
Why must this be in our plan?
I do not like it, Sam I Am!
Please sir, do not change my clock!
Do not change one tick or tock.
I do not like it worth a damn!
I do not like it, Sam I Am!
— with apologies to Dr. Seuss
So, you may have noticed that I’ve been pretty quiet lately. Obviously I’ve been very quiet here — no new posts in months. But I think I’ve been more quiet on other platforms too.
I’ve been a little depressed.
We finally moved to Tennessee in September. It was a hard move, and the less said there, the better. Tennessee is lovely but I’m afraid that I expected a bit too much, after so many years of being forced to wait and wait before we could get away from South Louisiana. I wasn’t expecting to run into new challenges and problems here — at least not right off the bat.
So anyway, I’ve been feeling blue and a bit lost. I had really high hopes for 2011, and it let me down time and time again. I’d like to think that 2012 will be better… although frankly, I’m almost willing to settle for things simply not getting any worse.
You’re probably saying that 2011 couldn’t be all bad. And it wasn’t. I lost a lot of weight and I finally got a decent haircut. And I threw out tons of old paperwork and clothes and other things that were weighing me down.
I wish it were that easy to get rid of bad feelings.
I’ll close here since I’m not sure what else to say… other than I’m still here, for whatever it’s worth.
It’s easy to get fixated on things that go wrong, to let minor snafus ruin entire days. This afternoon, something wasn’t working for me and I found myself getting increasingly upset by it. I considered blogging about it, but after some thought (and a cooling-down period), I realized I’d be a lot happier if I wrote about something this week that went truly right: my new shoes from Amazon.com.
First, a little background: buying shoes is an exercise in frustration for me. I have troublesome feet — size 10 with weak arches — and if my shoes aren’t supportive enough, I’ll feel it in my leg joints in a matter of days, if not hours. So when I find a pair of shoes that works for me, I buy multiple pairs in a variety of colors. After my last “go-to” style disappeared from stores, I discovered some cute little low-heel slip-ons from 5th Avenue that I adore — feminine styling, enough support, and a cushioned interior that my feet just love. I have two pair, brown and navy, but this week I decided to get a black pair as well, since my everyday black shoes are clogs or booties — both too hot for New Orleans summer.
When I went to shoes.com to order, I discovered something awful — no black pairs left. I tried Zappos and a couple of other places and got a horrible sinking feeling: my favorite shoes had clearly been discontinued.
Not one to give up easily when hunting for my perfect shoe, I did a Google search. Lo and behold, a little ad popped up on the side: Amazon.com said they had my shoe. I stared at the ad, thinking it was a mirage, then clicked.
OH. MY. GOD. Not only did Amazon.com have my shoe, but they had it 20% off and they had GRAY, the dream color that I lusted for last fall when I was doing Felicia Sullivan’s fashion challenge. I snapped up the last gray pair in my size and one of two remaining black pairs. After the discount and a gift certificate, I got them for $33 each. I LOVE YOU, AMAZON.COM!
And, okay, I guess I should admit it — I thought about it overnight and ordered two more pairs this morning. No gift certificate this time, but $45 each is still a great price for leather shoes. And when it comes to comfort, the right fit really is priceless; even cheap shoes aren’t worth being in pain.
So I’m eagerly awaiting my shoe order and reminding myself not to dwell on the things that go wrong. Focus only on the things that go RIGHT.
A few moments ago, I caught myself feeling a familiar niggle: I looked at the Amazon.com shortcut on my toolbar and thought, I want to buy something.
This thought appears at least once a week, usually when I’m frustrated with work. When I succumb to the urge, I’ll order a book, a DVD or food (tea or energy bars). I used to give in more often, but I’ve gained some control by recognizing the urge for what it is: a desire to escape, to read, to watch a good show, or eat something yummy — in short, to enjoy my time rather than just enduring it.
I have plenty of books. In fact, I have a good selection of unread books, at least 6 or 8 that I recall. But even if I didn’t have a fair number of shiny new books sitting around, I have a few dozen books and audio books that I thoroughly enjoyed and would like to experience again. And I’ve got more or less the same situation with DVDs; there’s a whole queue full of movies I want to see on Netflix Instant and a box full of DVDs sitting under the desk. I have more diversions than I could enjoy in a month of vacation. I don’t need more.
So why buy?
I guess part of it is that buzz of acquisition that gets shopaholics into so much trouble. It feels good to click that BUY NOW button, to have the means and the power to get something new. But the joy of having something new wears off fast, and then you’re left with the guilt of having paid for something you aren’t using.
These days, I try to be more careful before I hit that button, to weigh my motives before I buy. Most of us don’t need more things; we’re trying to satisfy some other need, something that’s more elusive. So I challenge you to think twice the next time a whim strikes you to get another album, DVD, book, or game, and ask yourself what you’re really after — before you click BUY.
