Category: Family and friends

Posts about family and friends.

Still here, still trying

the Tall Girl # # # # #

So… I haven’t blogged in a while. A very long while, as it turns out. I blame depression, anxiety, health issues (both mine and family members), the world being on fire, and other problems/issues that have been sucking up my energy and generally making life very, very difficult.

Most of this I just can’t talk about. At least, not right now. The work stuff and one of the personal situations I doubt I’ll ever talk about online — work because it’s not appropriate, and personal because that situation isn’t something I want to talk about publicly. (Friends can DM me on Twitter or FB if they want more details.)

The one thing I will say is that one of my aunts is dying of cancer and will probably be gone by the end of the month. Her condition has deteriorated rapidly since they did a procedure to put radiation directly into her liver. And we found out last week that the cancer didn’t originate in the liver but in the pancreas. (That’s basically a death sentence.) So the procedure only weakened her and made her condition worse. I should add that this is the aunt who took us in for weeks after Hurricane Katrina — so there are lots of complicated memories and emotions tied up with thoughts of her. It still feels kind of unreal, probably since we haven’t seen her since Christmas. Dad went to see her a few weeks ago, but only he and his youngest sister went; my cousin felt like her mom wasn’t up to seeing many people, and she could only manage a very short visit (less than an hour). I’ve accepted that I won’t see her again, and I think I’m okay with that. I don’t know that I want to see her in her current condition, and I know we wouldn’t be able to have any conversation that would mean anything. I wish our last visit had gone better — I was too depressed to interact with her in any meaningful way — but she was a saint, so hopefully she understands.

I thought 2017 would be better than 2016. Clearly, I thought wrong.

 

 

Forgive me

the Tall Girl # #

stone-angel-987244-mThe person I wrote this for will probably never read it. But sometimes miracles happen, so I’m going to give it a try.

Dear Ronda,

I am so, so sorry I hurt you, and I deeply regret losing your friendship. I’ve regretted it for over 14 years now, because I’ve never forgotten how much I valued you as a friend or how important you were to me.

I would love to be your friend again if you’ll have me.

I found your work Twitter and thought about contacting you, but I didn’t think that contact would be welcomed and I didn’t want to open up old wounds.

I did a Tarot reading 14 years ago, and it told me we would be friends again. I’d love to believe it was right.

You can find me on Twitter. The ball’s in your court.

Miss you always,

Cheryl

Friends craft the best jewelry

the Tall Girl # #

earringsI got new earrings (pictured) a few days ago, courtesy of my friend Karen. (Here’s a close-up photo from her Etsy store.) I’d had my eye on these for a while, so when she put out the word that she was trying to finance some car repairs, I figured that was a pretty good reason to go ahead and buy.

The best thing about getting these earrings (besides helping a friend in need, of course) is that they complement a pendant I bought last summer from my friend Carolyn. It’s an antique gold keyhole pendant, and I didn’t have any earrings that really matched it. So now I’ve got new earrings and solved a problem as well!

Brief thoughts on healing

the Tall Girl # #

This morning, for the first time in years, I got an email from a guy I’ll call my Significant Ex (defined as someone you’ll never forget, or someone who truly messed you up, or possibly both). It wasn’t a long email, and it was more or less necessary, since he was sending me info for a project I’m doing. But he asked how I was, and wished me well, and said that I was missed. I won’t lie: this guy did mess me up a bit way back when, and I’ll admit to some lingering resentment over that fact. So you wouldn’t think I’d be particularly moved by a few simple lines after years of radio silence.

But I was. For whatever reason, I felt genuinely touched by his simple offerings and inquiries. And that wounded bit of me healed just a little.

I guess there are always opportunities for healing broken relationships — a subject I’ve been pondering of late. I discovered new evidence last week that the other party in a damaged friendship had given up on me; and even though I initiated our Parting of the Ways a few years ago, it still made me a little sad to know that that door had closed for good.

Maybe life is just a series of people coming and going, doors opening and closing. But maybe closed doors can reopen, if and when we’re ready for them.